awwww-cute:

My friend had her daughters at a zoo when she heard, “Ma’am, there’s a lemur on your baby

awwww-cute:

My friend had her daughters at a zoo when she heard, “Ma’am, there’s a lemur on your baby

i-am-momo-senpai:

twinkletwinkleyoulittlefuck:

enchantedsnail:

punksexandshit:

ceaseless-reverie:

50shadesofgaylinson:

What do strippers do when they’re on their period

What do female astronauts do when they’re on their period

what do homeless women do when they get their period

what did tribeswomen do when they got their period

what do fictional characters do when they get their period

We never even solved the first one

trust:

finally a career for me

image

itssexualhour:

So I went over to my boyfriend’s house tonight, and we decided to go night swimming. Well, we were kissing and grinding and all that in the pool and suddenly he just hugs me to him and says ‘I love you, and I’m glad you’re mine’ and when he said that I leaned in towards his ear and said ‘mine’ in the same voice as those seagulls from Finding Nemo and then he did it back and we basically sat in the pool shouting ‘MINE!’ at each other for a solid minute.
alleybenz:

This tweet is my life

alleybenz:

This tweet is my life

wonderstay:

7 time grammy winner taylor swift everyone

lameborghini:

1. wear more black
2. be meaner to boys
3. do homework maybe

shampoo:

i’d push him down a flight of stairs for $20 lmao